i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
