weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
