what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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