did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
