We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize