A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
