Swine flu is the new snow day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
