It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
