This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
