guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
