I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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