And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
