Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
