please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
