they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize