very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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