Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
