ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
