Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
