Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
high people should be assigned attendants
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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