Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
