Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
