Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
