Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He shit in the fireplace
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize