All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i permit you to call me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
