There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
