We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
