I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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