Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize