Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
