She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
