i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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