wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
