Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize