i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
