Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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