He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize