we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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