So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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