I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
