they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
