every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
