Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
there is glitter all over my balls
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
