Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
