I think I am morally bankrupt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
