and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
