Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
zippers are such a cool invention
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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