There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
