we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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