Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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