my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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