Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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