how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
