I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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