Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize