I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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