Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
