Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
