so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
