Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
