I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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