this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize