suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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