he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
