I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
