im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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