The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
