So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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