i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
